The second half of the story.
There's a perspective thing in the last panel that I didn't have room to fully establish. Ostrom is supposed to be in the extreme foreground, which is why he looks almost the same size as Ebeff.
Apologies for the frivolous nonsense. If it explains anything, this was originally intended for April Fools', but I managed to come up with something more sophisticated and decided to save this for later.